so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
