some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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