Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
