I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
