PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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