She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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