Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
