Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
