Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
