I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
