do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
