marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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