They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
