I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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