: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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