9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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