Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(760): View more from California

Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?

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(760): View more from California

You did not just play the dead husband card again.

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(231): View more from Michigan

You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.

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(619): View more from California

I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw

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(703): View more from Virginia

Casually had to file a missing persons report last night

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(817): View more from Texas

Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina

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(289): View more from Ontario

Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?

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(905): View more from Ontario

I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?

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