I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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