You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
