a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
