They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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