so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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