Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
