I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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