I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
