you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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