You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize