I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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