the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
