I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Just invented taco cereal.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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