I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I think your dad took our porno
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I still have a little drunk in my system
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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