It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize