Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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