barbara walters just said penis...
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Drake has all the answers
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
