Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
