All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
