You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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