i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
