paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
