apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
