it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
