im gay
i know
yea but for you.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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