I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
