forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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