just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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