I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
