i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize