Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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