The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
