Screwed.edu
I bet he comes in French.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
