I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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