your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
