Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
