Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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