Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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