I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize