So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
