the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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