Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
